Trying hard to be thankful!

So as Valentines Day creeps up on me I seem to be very emotional, cranky, and sometimes down right mean. I am very glad there are no camera's in my office to catch me when the tears start to flow. 2008 was a very hard year on my family. The loss of my wonderful mother, one of our business's suffered from an employee with some serious sticky fingers in the tune of over $60,000. Our other business in Jackson has been hit hard by the economy and housing markets. Which in turn has lead to some very hard finical times for our family, which I don't see turning around for quite a while! In light of these hardships this last year every time I start my pity party I have this overwhelming feeling that I really do need to stop being so selfish and look around at all I do have. So today you will all have to bear with me (or just stop reading which ever you prefer) I am going to take the time and make a list of all of the FABULOUS things in my life so I can try and pull my self out of this emotion pit I am in! So here goes.....

1. I am so grateful beyond measure for my sisters! This last year would have been simply impossible for me with out them! Poor Michelle has the task of listening to me whine on our way to work every morning. She takes it all in and lets me be mad. Then somehow when we are done talking I do feel better, even if it is only because we have reverted our pain and sadness into some not always nice jokes! Hey ya do what ya gotta do! My big sister Lori is such an amazing woman! I can't imagine dealing with the loss of our mom so many miles away from the rest of our family. She is always so gracious and listens to me cry and sometimes joins in too! She is a fixer and always wants to "fix" it for me! Little does she know that just by making the time for me she does fix what can be fixed.
2. I am so thankful for my kids. They remind me of all that I truly do have that is wonderful. They love me and heal my heart daily. They also distract me from having to much time to have a pity party.
3. I am thankful for my loving husband Matt. He is not the most romantic man or the most sensitive, but after loosing my mom I saw a side to Matt I didn't know was there. I have only seen that man cry twice in our 12 years of marriage. Once was about his grandpa whom he loved like a father and the other was about missing his son Tyler. After Mom died Matt was so sad. I guess I never took the time to realize how much he loved her as well. He cried so many times that first week. I love that he loved my Mom as much as I do! He tries his best to comfort me and let me vent. I know I take him by surprise with my random sadness, it sneaks up on me sometimes!I am so grateful to him for allowing the kids and I to make our trips to Blackfoot to visit Mom and Dad. We went at least every other weekend and some times more! He never complained so for almost 9 years we tease he "shared custody" of us with my parents. No one can ever take that time we got to spend with them away from us! What a blessing!
4. I am thankful for my Dad. He took care of my Mom with the kindness of an angel. I knew he had it in him, but I must say he took me by surprise. He never once complained for having to take care of her.It was his pleasure. I know he wishes life would have lead in a different direction and it was not something he had to do. But that is what we were dealt and he was amazing!He also took us in his home and let us stay for a very long time. He continues to show me what a strong man he truly is by doing his best to figure out this new path his life has taken.
5. I am thankful for my brother. He reminds me a lot of Mom. They are so similar very tender hearted, very giving, very loving. Travis is always willing to help me out with no matter what it is I need. I know Mom had a special place in her heart for her only son. He is amazing!
6. I am thankful for all my nieces and nephews. When I look at them I am reminded of my Mom's never ending love for each one of them. They remind me to strive to be like her. She gave her love so freely to us all, I want to be more like that!
7. I am thankful for a job that I like. It makes it easier to leave my kids knowing that the place I am going to is not horrible. In these times I am glad to have a job period!
8. I am thankful for friends. Some new, some old, some I have lost contact with and found again. My Becky has been there for me through thick and thin since the 3rd grade. She is amazing and I love her!
9. I am grateful for my Mom's family. They continue to keep us in the loop and try to make us feel loved and welcome when ever we are lucky enough to see them. It is very comforting to be with them. I feel my Mom's love wrap around me when I am in the presence of the people she loved.
10. I am grateful for knowing my Mom is in a better place and in no more pain.
11. I am thankful for the chance I had to have her as my Mom and to be able to say she was and is truly one of my best friends. Even if I feel cheated for loosing her so early in my life I wouldn't change having her for a Mom.
12. I am thankful the Lord blesses me with knowing she is still here with me and letting me feel her love surround me.
13. I am thankful for the lessons she taught me. I pray I can remember them and use them in my daily life.


I have so many more things to be thankful for but I guess since this is the longest post EVER I will call it quits with the knowledge that yea times are tough right now but are not comparable to others who struggle as well! I am trying to hold on to the saying The Lord will never give you more than you can bear. I do wish he had a little less faith in me though! :) On that note I will get back to my day and let you get back to yours (assuming I have not already bored you to tears and you are not already gone that is!)
Remember to tell those you love how much they really do matter to you!