Hmmppfftt.....

I have been stewing about this since last night, so maybe if I get it out I won't beat myself up over it. Or you all will confirm for me that I am indeed a bad person. Either way it will be out of my hands! Last night as I was at Curves minding my own business I hear two ladies talking about Dr. Dixon. Well I know right away what kind of Dr. he is, my Mother went to him as well. They go on and on about what a FABULOUS Dr. he is. I think "Oh ya such a great Dr. couldn't save my mom!" The more I listen the more I am irritated by the conversation. Then the one very nice lady says to the other lady how long has it been. Nice lady #2 says it's been 7 years free of cancer. I wanted to hurt her. I know this isn't rational. I am so happy she won the fight! I am so grateful her kids don't have to go through what myself and my siblings are. But at the same time I wanted to scream, WHY DID YOU GET TO WIN BUT NOT MY MOM???? I know it's not her fault Mom had to leave. I also had these feelings as I watched the survivors take their survivor lap at the Relay for Life the year after Mom passed away. I couldn't help but feel resentment towards them. I haven't been back to a Relay since. I don't like feeling this way towards survivors! I should celebrate them and thank the heavens that some people do win. So now I am stuck, is this normal to feel or man am I really a mean person for being mad they won???

It's true...My lil CY CY is TWO!

How can this be? How is the time just slipping by so fast? I wish I could freeze Cylie in time right now! She is so fun and keeps us on our toes all the time! She talks up a storm! The things she says just cracks me up! Yesterday she was playing with Matt and she counted to 10! She only missed the numbers 3 and 7! I didn't even know she was counting at all! I had her do it again and of course she only got to 5! Lil stink! She is such the Diva! Everything is on her time or no time! If things aren't going her way she loves to throw her hands over her face and cry this pathetic cry! I can't help but laugh at her! She loves playing dollies! She is such the lil momma already! She loves taking all the dish towels out of the drawer and unfolding them one on top of the other. She will do this for hours! Then she will pick them up and move them to a new location and start all over again! It is very helpful in times of needing to get stuff done! She also uses the towels to cover her babies with! HAHA! She is the light of our lives. Her brothers and sister adore her. Every morning she asks where they are and if they are still sleeping! It sounds like this "Bidger still seeping?" Or "Sissy still seeping?" So sweet! She is a Daddy's girl. She has such a great relationship with Matt. It melts my heart. Cylie is a great little tattle tale! If one of us tells her no or swats her bum she is for sure on her way to rat us out to the other parent! It so dang funny, it goes something like this ME: Cylie whats wrong?" Cy: Crying, wiping her tears, big pout lip....Daddy do it!" Oh man it so funny! She also thinks it's grand to either a)pretend to pick her nose or b) pick her nose and then ask "You wanna booogie?" Don't even ask where that one came from! Another classic one is "I punch you" Now I promise we don't go around punching people or asking them if they want a booger! HAHA! Cylie can keep us in stitches laughing for hours. Now don't get me wrong, she is a TWO year old for sure. Some days I am so ready for her bedtime it's almost sad! Especially since I don't see her very long during the work week. But even on those days, I go to bed and thank the heavens that she is ours! I would be lost in this life without her! Happy Birthday Cylie!