Vote for Lacey!!

So my Lacey Lu threw her hat in the political ring! She is running for 6th grade student council! I am so proud of her! I must admit I am not sure why she decided to do it! She is kind of shy in big groups and she doesn't like giving speeches or talks! At first I thought she was doing it because some of her friends were, Nope. Then I thought oh a cute boy must be doing it, nope that wasn't it either! So maybe she just really is interested! HA! Either way whatever her reasons are I am a super proud Momma today! I never would've had the courage to put myself out there like that and run for an office! We had fun making posters, sadly I didn't get any pictures before she took them to school, we made stickers to pass out and these cute shirts with her slogan for Lacey and 4 friends to wear! I hope she does well!

*Side note I know you are all dying to hear about how the tooth pain is, well, $2,000 later and 2 (so far) dentist visits later and I am on the mend. Sadly it wasn't a baby tooth causing the pain it was the one behind it so I didn't dare let them pull it so I got to have a root canal! IT WAS AWFUL! They had to do it in two visits because my roots are bent over. The first visit I cried so much I felt like a dang baby! Oh well all that hurts now is the BILL! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Oh ya thanks Lori for saving my butt once again! LOVE YOU!

Still here...

Pain, Pain go away, Please don't EVER COME BACK! Why was I blessed with such awful teeth? Why do I have such anxiety when I have to go? My mouth has been hurting for a while. I keep ignoring it because I know it is going to cost an arm and a leg to fix. Ya see I was blessed missing two permanent teeth so I have to baby teeth left, well I think they have lasted as long as they are going to. THEY ARE KILLING ME! I can't ever find a dentist I trust that doesn't hurt me, or charge me a small fortune. Why can't I find one that will take payments and not treat me like a criminal for not being able to pay them all at once? WHY OH WHY? I hate finding a new dentist. I have to though, the pain is starting to give me an earache, I almost can't function anymore. But then the thought of the dentist sets in and I start to have a panic attack. UGH! Am I alone in this feeling? I know they aren't mean people that want to hurt me, I hate that I can't get over my childhood trauma. So here I sit trying to figure out my next step!! I don't know how much more I can take!

I keep meaning to bring my camera to load pictures for a new post but I keep forgetting! Sorry, I will try to remember!! I hope you are all well!

Hmmppfftt.....

I have been stewing about this since last night, so maybe if I get it out I won't beat myself up over it. Or you all will confirm for me that I am indeed a bad person. Either way it will be out of my hands! Last night as I was at Curves minding my own business I hear two ladies talking about Dr. Dixon. Well I know right away what kind of Dr. he is, my Mother went to him as well. They go on and on about what a FABULOUS Dr. he is. I think "Oh ya such a great Dr. couldn't save my mom!" The more I listen the more I am irritated by the conversation. Then the one very nice lady says to the other lady how long has it been. Nice lady #2 says it's been 7 years free of cancer. I wanted to hurt her. I know this isn't rational. I am so happy she won the fight! I am so grateful her kids don't have to go through what myself and my siblings are. But at the same time I wanted to scream, WHY DID YOU GET TO WIN BUT NOT MY MOM???? I know it's not her fault Mom had to leave. I also had these feelings as I watched the survivors take their survivor lap at the Relay for Life the year after Mom passed away. I couldn't help but feel resentment towards them. I haven't been back to a Relay since. I don't like feeling this way towards survivors! I should celebrate them and thank the heavens that some people do win. So now I am stuck, is this normal to feel or man am I really a mean person for being mad they won???

It's true...My lil CY CY is TWO!

How can this be? How is the time just slipping by so fast? I wish I could freeze Cylie in time right now! She is so fun and keeps us on our toes all the time! She talks up a storm! The things she says just cracks me up! Yesterday she was playing with Matt and she counted to 10! She only missed the numbers 3 and 7! I didn't even know she was counting at all! I had her do it again and of course she only got to 5! Lil stink! She is such the Diva! Everything is on her time or no time! If things aren't going her way she loves to throw her hands over her face and cry this pathetic cry! I can't help but laugh at her! She loves playing dollies! She is such the lil momma already! She loves taking all the dish towels out of the drawer and unfolding them one on top of the other. She will do this for hours! Then she will pick them up and move them to a new location and start all over again! It is very helpful in times of needing to get stuff done! She also uses the towels to cover her babies with! HAHA! She is the light of our lives. Her brothers and sister adore her. Every morning she asks where they are and if they are still sleeping! It sounds like this "Bidger still seeping?" Or "Sissy still seeping?" So sweet! She is a Daddy's girl. She has such a great relationship with Matt. It melts my heart. Cylie is a great little tattle tale! If one of us tells her no or swats her bum she is for sure on her way to rat us out to the other parent! It so dang funny, it goes something like this ME: Cylie whats wrong?" Cy: Crying, wiping her tears, big pout lip....Daddy do it!" Oh man it so funny! She also thinks it's grand to either a)pretend to pick her nose or b) pick her nose and then ask "You wanna booogie?" Don't even ask where that one came from! Another classic one is "I punch you" Now I promise we don't go around punching people or asking them if they want a booger! HAHA! Cylie can keep us in stitches laughing for hours. Now don't get me wrong, she is a TWO year old for sure. Some days I am so ready for her bedtime it's almost sad! Especially since I don't see her very long during the work week. But even on those days, I go to bed and thank the heavens that she is ours! I would be lost in this life without her! Happy Birthday Cylie!

TODAY

Today...my baby boy (well he is 6 and a half but still!) had his first trip to the ER. I am at work, crying! He will be fine, he had an allergic reaction to something and within 30 minutes after Matt dropped him off at Daycare he had hives and welts and his eyes were swelling shut!

Today....I am so very tired. Cylie hasn't been sleeping since she got hurt. She fell and split her mouth up, it got infected and it's been awful! She won't eat or sleep or take a bottle. I am sooo very very tired!

Today....I miss my Mom horribly! I am not sure if it's because Lori and Jo just left and the hole in my heart is noticeable again, or if it's because my kids are sick and I don't have her to go to for advice or if it's because my birthday is on Sunday and I always miss her more on my birthday or if it's because she was such an amazing wonderful woman that new me without any explanations from me. She just did, she was my mom and she got me!

Today....I hope it gets better!

Lacey Lu is 11 (and one month!)

I really have no excuse other than I suck! HAHA! I have thought about this post since before the big day came...then it went, and went, and went~ haha! So now I am a month late...again! That should be my nick name! I know it has been a month since my first born turned 11 but I still need to document how wonderful she is. So here goes...
Lacey Rae was born 3 weeks early and still weighed 7 lbs and was 20 inches long. Her poor little head was so cone shaped, poor kid got stuck! It was an awful delivery! The doctors let me labor for 14 hours and push for 2 before they finally took her c-section! I was so tired by the time she got here! But man I was so excited! I will never forget when I finally got to hold her I spoke so quietly to her and she turned her little head to look at me. She new me and I knew her! We were meant to be mother and daughter! We are so similar it's almost scary, I think she was watching a little to closely while she was waiting for her turn. I find myself getting on her alot about things, things I used to do, that I wish I hadn't. It's hard for me to sit back a little bit and let her find her own way...you know as much as a parent can. She is fun, she loves to rock out in the car with the windows down! We laugh a lot, but I need to make more time for that with her! She is sensitive, she always wants the world to be fair. She never wants her friends or family to be sad. She is a helper, most of the time! She loves her little sister. I am so thankful she and Cylie will get to experience the joys of sisterhood! I can't imagine my life without my sisters! She is very smart. She doesn't give herself enough credit about how smart she really is. I hope going into the 6th grade she can buckle down and really work at it! She is a great swimmer! I have found such joy in watching her grow in this sport. Man I was a wreck during her first swim meet! I get so choked up with PRIDE as she finishes each race! She makes our family complete! For her party this year I told her she could only have 3 friends...let me tell you the endless sleep this caused her! "But Mom I don't want to hurt so and so's feelings and Mom so and so doesn't know the other girls so what if she feels left out"...and on and on it went! I finally told her she had to choose time was running out. It was finally decided, she had Noelle, Madi and, Jenna. They had a great time. We did Mr. Pizza for dinner on Friday and had Lacey blow out the candles on the Dessert Pizza Yummo!The girls stayed the night, and on Saturday morning I took them to the bead shop to make watch bands. They had a good time. It was fun! On Sunday we had her family party. Only Michelle and her family and Dad could make it but that's ok! She had fun and loved her gifts. Matt and I got her a cell phone this year. She has been begging for one. The only reason she got one is out of necessity! Now her phone is cooler than mine! She was super excited about it! She also got a new bike. The Bike was going to be her big gift but we had to get the phone anyway so we threw it in as a present too! It kind of overshadowed the bike but oh well! She did get a cake, she picked it out from Wal-mart! Sorry I am just not that Mom that has the patience to make one I wish I were, but I know my limitations! I would end up sad because the cake wouldn't turn out like it looked in my minds eye! So I just leave it to good ol Wal-mart! I can't believe how fast they are all growing. It seems like just yesterday Lori and I took the Winnie the pooh bib to my Mom's office to tell her the news of Lacey's impending arrival! I am so thankful she was in trusted to us, I hope we can do it right! Happy Birthday My Lacey Lu!
***A BONUS PICTURE***
How stinking cute is that? She just loves her Tyler!

RUN LARRY RUN!!!!

Today my sister will face her demons! You know the ones that tell you that you can't do something? Those evil ones will do their best to get you down and tell you that you can't but

I AM HERE TO SAY YOU CAN! AND YOU WILL!

I am so proud of you Lori for making a goal to run a 5k. It hasn't been easy, but you have stuck it out! Even when you didn't love it and couldn't remember why you started, you stuck with it! No matter what no demon can EVER take that away from you! GOOD JOB SISTER! I wish I could be there to cheer you on! But alas I am stuck at work! SO I WILL SAY IT FROM A FAR.......

RUN LARRY RUN!