Catch up...

Ok so I have decided why I have procrastinated so long to catch up, there is simply a ton to catch up on! I have also really questioned some of the events that have yet to be told. I want to save the memory, but I don't want to offend, hurt or confuse anyone that might read it. So if I do any of the above please know these are/were my feelings I can only process so much at a time, and dang it I did the best I could! So here goes let the catch up begin!

On September 30, 2010 my Dad got MARRIED! Crazy uh! He met a nice lady named Zeffie online and they met for the first time on July 3 ,2010. I knew right away after he got home it had been a different date then his other "first" (or only as we called them) dates. He actually liked her, when I asked if he would see her again his immediate reply was not "Um NO!" like the others had been. I was glad Dad was dating. I didn't find it odd or bothersome by any means. I hated watching him be alone. He eased us kids into his dating, it's not like Mom had only been gone a month! It had been 2 years, I was ok with him trying to find love. At times he wondered if it was really what he wanted, was he really ready for that? Mom left such a huge hole in his life, he missed her so much, everyday! He was very happy after his walk with Zeffie, he liked her. It soon grew to a I am heading to UT to see Zeffie every weekend, or she would come stay with her Daughter that lives close by. I kinda had a feeling we were headed towards a marriage. I didn't however think the weekend after my 31st birthday I would get a phone call from Dad saying "Just wanted to let you know Zeffie and I are getting married" *OK now here comes the I don't want to upset anyone part, but if I am going to keep it real I must tell it like it happened.* I then sucked it up, and said "Oh Dad, I am so happy for you" Which I was 100% happy for him, but the tears where on the verge of letting out, I knew I had to get off the phone RIGHT away. I didn't want to let him know I was sad, because at that moment I myself didn't know why I was sad. I sobbed, I fell to the floor and just cried the second I got off the phone. I knew this day was going to come, so what happened? Why was I so upset? I couldn't make sense of anything. I knew that once again, my life was going to change. I hate change, in fact I loathe it! So there was that looming over me. I knew I was sad because Dad would obviously be moving. My kids already lost their Grandma and now their Grandpa was leaving them too! That was one reason I was so sad the other took a long time for me to process. Then the real reason came to the surface, I don't know how long it took for me to realize the pain. It was the finality of it. I had to come to terms that YES MY MOTHER WAS REALLY DEAD! She wasn't on some long vacation having a good time that she was going to return from, I have to live the rest of this life without her! That was a very hard thing to come to terms with. Even now as I type it I'm crying again. Lacey was a little concerned how Zeffie would fit in, would she try to take the place of her closest friend? She was not very happy. Bridge was sad his best Grandpa was going to be gone. Poor little Cylie didn't have a clue. Let me just tell you, my Dad and Cylie have this bond that I can't explain. I know with all my soul that Cy was sent to us to heal our hearts, and for Dad she was a good part of the reason he got up in the morning some days. Now fast forward 2 and a half months. We miss Dad alot, but we have a new member of our family that has meshed well! She makes my Dad so very happy! Cylie loves her to pieces she calls her Grandma Zeppie. Let me tell ya it's very sweet to see Zeffie interact with the kids. I am so thankful to her for loving my kids even though they aren't her children's children. Lacey loves hanging with Zeffie she thinks she is very cool! I was a little nervous how Bridge would do with it all, but when I tell him Grandpa is coming home, his first question is, Is Zeffie coming too? He loves to see her too! It has been nice to see my Dad smile again. Zeffie has complemented him so nicely. Zeffie lost her sweet husband 8 years ago, so she understand the pain Dad has, she never seems to feel jealous of the love Dad has for Mom and would never try to take her place. For this I will always be grateful! So dear reader I have a Step Mom! HAHAHA! Weird to say uh! Here is a picture of the cute couple.I know with all my heart Mom would love Zeffie, they would've been friends, they are similar! I am happy that Zeffie has joined our family, now let's just see if she can hang with the Crazy Barton Clan! HAHAHA! Good luck!!!