Happiness

Today I have chosen to try and get out of my funk by searching out the things that make me happy! Here are a few...


My Cylie Bug is such an amazing kid! I can't imagine my life without her in it! She has been the best baby, I might be saying this because she is the only baby I have not stayed home with so poor Hailey and Kendall take care of her most of the time when she is a pill! But hey I will try and see that as a good point to working, see I told you I am going to do my best to be happy! Here is something else that makes me smile.....Bridger! Last night he wanted me to watch him play wii, not my most favorite thing to do, but I could tell he was feeling a little neglected, so off to the basement we went! He played the boxing game and knocked the guy out in the first minute of round two! He was so pumped he started to do a dance to the cool music here it is,

Now on to Lacey, she and I are having a rough go at it lately, she feels like we pick on her when we ask her to do more chores than Bridger. We try to explain that when she was five we didn't ask her to do the dishes either. When you get older it comes with more responsibility! She is not loving it. She throws the biggest drama filled fits! I try hard to be patient with her but at the end of a long day it is all I can do to not FREAK OUT! Matt and I have a running joke that we quietly laughed about when these unhelpful times with Lacey arrive. When we had Lacey Matt worked at a roofing place in town, he had some Hispanic men on his crew and when Matt told them we named our first born daughter Lacey, they looked at him very puzzled and said "You named your daughter LAZY!" To dang funny! Lately we wonder if they were right and her name is lazy! So today when I downloading the video from last night I found some very fun self portraits of Lacey and they made me HAPPY! Here you go,



I have already found 3 things that make me happy! GO ME!

So today as I take the time out of my day to search out all of the things that make me happy I hope you will join me and do the same....leave me a comment and tell me what you find!

Have you ever?

Have you ever felt so....blah?

Have you ever felt like no matter what way you turn, you soon find out it was the wrong way?

Have you ever felt like if a big dark hole swallowed you up, it would be OK?

Have you ever felt like yelling, screaming, crying, and laughing until you snort? ALL AT THE SAME TIME?

Have you ever felt like your THE only one pulling any weight?

Have you ever felt like your head could easily blow up from the pressure?

If so my dear friend welcome to my world! It seems like the more I try to be positive about our current situations the worse they get. The more I remind myself that really it could be worse, the worse it gets! So now I am left to wonder if I should just lay down on the ground and kick and scream at the world like I would if I were 5!

What would you do?

CyLiE HaS a...................

TONGUE! I think someone must have slipped something into Cylie's bottle! She was so dang funny on Wednesday night, she wouldn't keep her tongue in her mouth, and every time she would stick it out she would lean over side ways! TOO dang funny! We laughed so hard! She was a skunk though, every time I would get the camera by her she would stop! After about 20-30 minutes I did get some good ones! I even some how managed to get one of her and Bridger at the same time!Well the week has gone by too fast and yet too slow! How does that work you ask, well it's easy! When I am stuck at work ALL DAY (the slow part) and only got to see Kevin from 6:00 to 9:00 at night it feels like he just got here and sadly his plane leaves at the butt crack of dawn tomorrow! I am so sad he has to go already! My kids are going to be so lost with out him! All we heard all week was "Where is Kevin?" "When is Kevin coming over?" "Kevin come play with me!" He is such an amazing guy! It's so strange to me to think he is almost 19 and heading off for a mission soon! I was in the 6th grade when he was born so I took over and treated him like he was mine! I love him so much and am so proud of the man he is becoming! Now I just need to get my hands on Jo and Lori, I miss them both so much! My little G Jo I have missed so much of her growing up in the few short years they have been gone! Soon I will get to see them, soon! Anyways back to Kevin, he has told Matt and Les that tonight it's "ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!" So I expect I won't see too much of him unless I go down stairs to the "pit of dispare" (LOL!) to watch them all play the wii! I guess for Kevin I can make that sacrifice!

Hanging with the fam!

Ok so I promised to update Lori, here goes! Last night was pretty mellow! We all picked up $5.00 pizza and headed to my house. Kevin was so excited to get Little Ceasers! I wish we were all as happy about it! UGH! NOT my favorite, but oh well there is a lot to be said about cheap dinners these days! We all talked and hung out. Michelle and I got sucked into Dancing with the Stars, Cade was playing the DS on the chair but I think he was secretly watching! Some how he knew what the last couples score was when no one else did! BUSTED! LOL! If you know Cade you will understand why the idea of him watching that is funny! Bridger and Denver disappeared to his room to.....you guessed it play video games. Kevin and Lacey ended up downstairs to play the wii, while Brook played with them but not the wii.All and all it was fun! I sure hope dad has a plan for dinner tonight because it is now 4:45 and I don't have a clue!

We scrubbed her clean!!!

On Saturday we had a baby shower for my sister Michelle. It is such a wonderful event to celebrate the impending arrival of a baby! I am so glad she and I will have more children close in age. I don't think we could EVER do it as close as we did when Bridger and Brook were born 12 days apart! 9 months apart works too! Too bad we keep having the opposite sex though! It was such a fun after noon, filled with chatter, laughter, and great memories. My boss Tiffany and Michelle used to work together and they are great friends. So Tiffany and I teamed up with the help of another friend Brandy and Tiffany's mom Kathy for the shower. We had it at my house and we all pitched in to make a yummy lunch. It turned out great!! There were only two things missing....well people really! We wish our oldest sister Lori could have made it, and of course we missed Mom. But all in all it was great! Two of our Aunts came and they brought Grandma, which is always so awesome to have them around. I don't know about Michelle but it makes me feel a little better to have mom's sister's and mom around me! Michelle made out like a bandit, she got amazing gifts and Brook had the best time opening it all! I love little baby stuff. I can't wait for the little guy to get here! Here are some pictures of the afternoon.
Later that night Michelle, Dad and I went to Idaho Falls to pick up my nephew Kevin. His flight was really late so we went to a movie first then hit good old Wal-mart to kill more time! I am blaming the fact that my camera didn't make it with us to the airport because it was soooo late my brain wasn't working! Rest assured Lori I will document the rest of his trip so you can see it! I will try and post them on a daily basis for you! Here are some random pictures of Cylie playing whack a mole after the shower, again for Lori, she has been reduced to shaming me on our cousin's blog for my lack of "cute kid pictures" So enjoy them and I will post again tomorrow!

Help, I'm not getting it right!

Ok so I struggled with posting this, these questions ran through my head. Will I offend anyone, will it show how little I know and understand myself, will it sound horrible? But I have decided to post it anyway I hope none of the above happens.

Last night as I put Bridger to bed he started to cry some very big crocodile tears, out of now where. I scooped him up in my arms and asked him what was wrong. "Mom I miss grandma." He says to me. "I just don't understand why she wants to live in the ground and not with us!" My eyes filled with tears my heart broke....again. I was so saddened by what he thought had happened. I had no idea that is where he thought my mom was. I have explained to him about Grandma's body being to tired to fight and how her body died but her spirit the part of grandma that we loved so much is still alive. It lives it in heaven with Heavenly Father. Then I named some people who have also died and who she lives with now. His response "Well I don't really care about them, I just want my grandma back!" WOW how could I have been so wrong? I thought he was doing ok with loosing his Grandma and I thought I explained it so he could understand, boy oh boy how wrong I was.

This is were I need your help. This is the first time I have had to explain death to a five year old. I thought I did it right. Is it normal for them to "forget" how it works, or did I just do it wrong? I guess he has said the same thing to Matt a couple weeks ago when they passed a cemetery. I am at a loss, please help me get this right so my poor son isn't scared for life.

My Friends are back!!!

My cousin wrote on her blog about the signs of Spring where she lives in NM, the beautiful flowers are peaking out and everything is turning green. Well I have a different sign of Spring. Last year when I moved into Mom and Dad's in early February it was still dark out when I would leave the house for work. As spring SLOWLY made it's way to Idaho it was getting lighter in the mornings so it wasn't dark when I left the house, which I must say is a blessing! Bridger used to say "But why are we leaving in the middle of the night, daycare isn't open yet!" Too funny! Anyway as I would drive down Groveland Road I noticed this cute little old couple every morning walking across the road to get their newspaper out of the box. This couple seem pretty old. They walk hunched over just a bit, the grandpa uses a cane the blind use, which leads me to believe he can't see. I am a smarty I know! The grandma ever so lovingly holds his arm and they walk across the busy road, very briskly I might add! They fetch their paper and either wait for the cars that are coming or scurry back to their warm house. Some days the grandma has those fabulous scarfs on her hair like my grandma used to wear, and maybe she still does I don't know. If I am the only car coming and they are waiting on the side of the road I always slow down and wait for them so they can get back to their warm house and pull out the magnifying glass so the grandma can read the paper to the grandpa. The grandpa would wave every morning as if to say "Have a great day!" The spring came and went and the little old couple got their paper everyday, summer came and went then fall came. They were still there most mornings but as it started to get dark again I saw them less and less. I found myself saddened by the fact I didn't get to see them anymore. I know this sounds very strange, I am not sure why I am so intrigued by this couple. Maybe it is because I started noticing them shortly after mom passed and how I wished that could have been my mom and dad in another 20 years. Who knows why they tug on my heart strings. I have NO idea who this couple is or what their names are or their life story. I do know how they make me feel hopeful in the fact that they are still together and healthy enough to get the mail each morning. Well guess what? This morning my cute little couple were waiting by their mail box this morning after I dropped Lacey off at dad's to wait for the bus. They looked good, the grandpa smiled and waved and I caught myself tearing up. YEAH it's spring and my friends are back to send me on my way in the morning! Happy Spring!