PRAYERS NEEDED!

OK I am just going to unload today, I am hoping if I get this all out I can semi function today! Here goes...
I am bitter at the world right now, I have been for a while. I know my life could be so much worse then it is...but really I question that too! It sure feels like since my Mom left us I have been truly alone! ALONE! I hate that feeling! I am struggling again today with this alone feeling, like I have been abandon for the wolves to devour. I know your all thinking Kim your not alone you should pray the Lord will help you. I hate to be a Debbie downer but this is my blog and I am going to lay it out just as I feel. I have tried to pray to feel comfort to feel like this will all make sense one day it hasn't helped. It seems like the more I pray and the things I pray for the opposite happens and I am again ALONE! I begged and pleaded for the Lord to spare my sister's son Kurt, to no avail, he was taken. I prayed and prayed and pondered and did my best to be a good person if he would just please spare my mom. I wasn't done learning all I needed from her. Therefore she must not be done on this earth. Alas she was taken. Now we are looking straight down the barrel of another gun. My brother has been so sick for such a long time. They finally thought they had gotten the answers they needed and went to Seattle for a surgery. A risky one, but one that would make him better and give me back the brother I have been so close to my entire life! They tried on Tuesday and had to stop he was not dealing with the surgery well. The Dr decided to wait and approach his sedation differently the next day. So yesterday July 8th they tried again. They finally got to were they thought they would find his stomach/intestinal issues, well they didn't find anything. I am not sure how it came to be that they decided his pancreas needed a biopsy. I am not really sure I want to know this, it will probably freak me out more. However they did take a biopsy. Today we wait for the results and run more tests. I have heard the Lord will not give you more than you can handle, let me say I know in my heart of hearts I will never recover from this if he is also taken from me. So to all of you my dear friends that have not lost the faith and don't feel so alone I am begging you to please Pray for my brother Travis today. Pray that the Dr's will find the answers to his health issues, pray that whatever they might find his poor tired body will have the strength to fight it and come home to his family on earth. And maybe if you don't mind send one up for me that I might not feel so alone and scared.